Kreckersneed

Monologue for a Scotsman

kreckersneed — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 03:33:20 +0000

By Ryan Carpenter and Michael McElvain

Born again at five o’clock in the morning, me mouth like a tomb. ‘Twas the fourth morning since ‘e announced ‘is arrival, screamin’ in the arms of the midwife. [beat] An’ today was to be the day of his christening bath. So I carried ‘im out behind the barn, pulled out the tin tub, an’ filled ‘er up with the hose. [beat] I placed ‘im in the water and just when I’d worked up a good lather, [beat] [grave, with intensity] I seen ‘im out there. [beat] At the edge of the woods, [beat] beneath the branches. Rollin’ around in the soot with ‘is fuckin’ dog! [beat] And aye, [beat] that beast can bloody wrestle!

Apt. 9 (text for a piece of music for prepared piano and voice)

kreckersneed — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 01:35:26 +0000

I heard it on the radio

It was coming from the apartment downstairs

It was so loud I couldn’t sleep

I knew I recognized it, but couldn’t place it

I went into the bathroom and waited for it to stop

One of the walls was soggy and rotting

Drops of water seeped through the damp plaster

Trickled down the wet drywall

It was so late and getting early

Someone was knocking upstairs

They knocked so hard for so long

I thought it might be morning before they stopped

But they didn’t stop

The wall tore open

I could see the wood, the pipes, the bricks, and the mold

And the radio – the radio was getting louder!

Pieces of paper on the strings of a piano!!

TV Series Pitch

kreckersneed — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 19:06:34 +0000

I would like to create a TV drama surrounding the lives of college students. The show would begin as a typical program about undergrads: they would eat bad food, go to classes and have sex with each other. Throughout the series, however, the characters’ lives, bodies, clothing, speech, behaviors, living spaces, etc. would begin to resemble those of the Founding Fathers of the United States.

At first, these transformations would be very subtle and occur at a very slow rate. For instance, in one episode mid-series, after skipping studying to have sex with her boyfriend, Sheila, a sophomore international relations major, would cut down a cherry tree on campus. In later episodes, the transformations would be a little more obvious. For instance, while cutting class to eat pizza, Red, a sophomore international relations major, would sign the Declaration of Independence. Over the course of ten later episodes, the name of Clay Venable, a senior graphic design major, would slowly transform into the name “John Hancock” at a rate of one letter per episode. Towards the end of the series, the characters would wear powdered wigs, own slaves, become Presidents of the United States, address congress, sign bills, etc. Their lives would no longer resemble what they were in the beginning, and the whole show would become a straightforward period piece.